1.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Zašto si
Tako zlonamerno orišao
Iz mog vidnog polja?

2.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Zašto se toliko bojiš
Da me prihvatiš
Kao Tvog rođenog, najrođenijeg?

3.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Zar ne možeš da vidiš
Da su najgušći oblaci
Sasvim prekrili
Nebo mog srca?
Zašto Tvoja Samilost spava,
Zašto?

4.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Grmljavina razočaranja
Prolama se.
Moj jadni um potpuno bezuspešno
Traži sopstveni grob.
Zar ne možeš da pritekneš u pomoć
Mom beznadežno bespomoćnom umu?

5.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Molio sam Te
Toliko dugo
Da mi dođeš
Tako da mogu da Te ustoličim
U svojim čeonim talasima.

6.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Zašto mi ne daješ
Sposobnost da osetim
Da si Ti
Glavni smisao
Mojih zemno Nebeskih domova srca?

7.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Tvoja potpuna ravnodušnost
Prema mom životu želje
Razorno me je probila.

8.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Zašto ne otvoriš Svoje Oko
Čak ni na trenutak
Da vidiš vatru vapaja
Kako besano plamti
U mom srcu?

9.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Koliko dugo želiš da ronim
Obilne suze,
Zbog Tvog namerno odloženog
Dolaska?

10.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Spasi me!
Spasi me na bilo koji način
Koji želiš!
   

11.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
Tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

CZar ne vidiš da je moj um konačno
Prestao da sumnja
U Tvoje postojanje?
Zar ne može očekivati od Tebe
Nebeski Osmeh?
Gospode moj,
Tvoja Tišina me muči
Daleko više nego što možeš da zamisliš.

12.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Nemam nikoga koga bih nazvao svojim.
Nažalost, nikada nisam pomislio
Da će moje tužno iskustvo
Morati da uključi i Tebe!

13.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Zašto Ti nepotrebno odugovlačiš
Da me oslobodiš čak i od jedne
Zamke iskušenja sveta?

14.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Tvoja pristrasnost me potpuno ubija.
Spasao si i uzdigao
Mnoga stvorenja
Koja su nesumnjivo bila niža od mene.
Avaj, u mom slučaju,
Dao si Sebi
Strašno šokantno novo ime:
Ravnodušnost.

15.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Jao, kako možeš biti jedan od onih
Koji mi govore
Da su me sve moje božanske osobine
Zauvek napustile?

16.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

I am crying
Because You have deliberately kept
Your listening Ears
Out of order.

17.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Ako ti je zaista stalo do mene,
Zar se nećeš se potruditi
Da poniziš i osramotiš
Moj nemogući ponos
Zarad savršenog savršenstva
Mog života?

18.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Za Tebe sam počistio svoj put
Spremno, voljno i željno.
Kako je moguće
Da Tvoje Oko preplavljeno Samilošću
Ne vidi
Šta sam učinio za Tebe?

19.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Kada ćeš mi dati sposobnost
Da te prihvatim kao svog, svog sopstvenog
Ovde, tamo i svuda?

20.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Kako je moguće
Da ne možeš
Da misliš na mene baš u ovom trenutku
Kada umirem za Tobom?

21.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Zašto mi ne dopuštaš
Da budem besani rob
Tvojih Stopala?

22.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Kada ćeš doći
Da ugasiš vatru
Moje razdvojenosti
Od Tvog Srca?

23.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Zar ne možeš ni jednom da osetiš
Mučne bolove
Tvog odsustva
Koji mi izjedaju srce?

24.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Potoci suza padaju
Iz mojih očiju posvećenosti
Da bih Ti udovoljio na Tvoj sopstveni Način.
Ali Tvoja nevoljnost da ih prihvatiš
Iskopava korenje
Mog drveta života.

25.

Moj Gospode,
Kako možeš da budeš
tako nemilosrdno okrutan prema meni?

Can You not see
The snake of our separation
Has bitten me powerfully
And shockingly,
And my life-breath is sinking
Without having a sweet glimpse
Of Your Compassion-Eye
And Your Satisfaction-Heart?

26.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will You give me
A sleepless and unquenchable thirst
For You?

27.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

You fool me by saying
That I am all Yours
And You are all mine.
I think and I feel
That this is the worst possible lie
That I have ever heard
From anybody!

28.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You allow me
To dream of anything else?
Do You not know
That I want to dream
Only of You?

29.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will Your Heart tell You
That I am always dying
To see You
And to be in Your Presence?

30.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I do not want to continue
With this human life.
Give me back my animal life.
I want to be Your faithful dog
To follow You
Everywhere You go.

31.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How many times have I told You
That my life is no life without You?
Yet I clearly see
That You do not care for me at all,
Either in my inner life
Or in my outer life.
Why, why?

32.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How many more times
Do I have to tell You
To capture my heart
So that my heart
Becomes all sweetness
And all fondness for You?

33.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

If You really love me,
Will You not transform
Everything in my life
To fulfil You?

34.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You not come
And eat with me at my table
When I beg You again and again?
Am I an untouchable creature?
I thought You were my Creator.
It seems that I have to change
My opinion.

35.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How I wish You to miss me breathlessly
Only once
The way I miss You.
Then You will realise
What my heart and I go through
In Your absence.

36.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I ask You to increase my aspiration
And decrease my desire.
I cannot understand why
My desire has to increase
And
My aspiration has to decrease!
How can You not feel the sincerity
Of my intensity-prayer?

37.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I pray to You for Your Closeness.
You give me success after success
So that my success-life can prevent me
From being close to You.
I assure You that one day
You will have to surrender
To my eagerness
To be in Your extreme Closeness.

38.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Are You really afraid
Of my growing attachment
To You?
Do tell me frankly.

39.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Please be kind to me once and for all
And tell me when I can be
A glowing detachment
From my desire-bound earth-life.

40.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I try to give You my fear.
You do not accept it.
I try to give You my love.
You do not accept it.
Then tell me what I can give You
To make You happy in Your own Way.

41.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

For centuries I have looked for You.
Now may I not be allowed
At least for a few years
To look after You?

42.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How can I believe
That I was made only of Your Joy
When I do not see You happy
At any time?

43.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Have You forgotten
That You made a solemn Promise
That when I fail,
You would immediately sail
To my rescue?

44.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will I be able to breathe in
Your Compassion-Smile?
And when will I be able to breathe out
My surrender-joy?

45.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why have You given me
Such feeble devotion
That can never reach
Your Feet?

46.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

You have never asked me
To sing for You
A rainbow-song
Of my self-giving.

47.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not allow my soul-flames
To illumine my entire being
Even one single time?

48.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How can it be possible
That right in front of You
My aspiration-heart has not become
An ever-rising life-tree-climber?

49.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not give me
A special kind of morning meditation
To multiply my heart's
Aspiration-flames rapidly?

50.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see
My heart's streaming tears
Running again and again
To my life's progress-start?
Can You not be of any help to me?

51.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When are You going
To pass by this way?

52.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do You not think
That Your Promises are all hollow?
You have promised to me
So many times
That You will steal into my heart
And rob me of everything
That I have and I am.

53.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How long are You going to remain
Unmoved and unperturbed
By my orphan-tears?

54.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Will there be a day in my life,
Early in the morning
During my prayers and meditations,
When we shall consume each other
With our mutual love and affection?

55.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Was Your Promise not sincere
When You told me
That You would come back
And take me with You
To visit Your transcendental Heights?

56.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Is it such a difficult task
For You to break my ego
Before it breaks me?

57.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see
That my outer life
Is totally shattered
And my inner life
Is completely devoid of hope?

58.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Please tell me
Why You have stopped answering
My heart-letters,
Why?

59.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

My Lord, do You not know
That when You do not smile at me,
I immediately lose
The compass and the anchor
Of my life-boat?

60.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I want to realise You
As soon as possible,
But if You continuously
Break my heart,
Then I assure You
Your Heart will be next!

61.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I strongly feel
That Your very Touch
Can easily transform
My mind-woods
Into
My heart-blossoms.

62.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You not tell me
The secret way to Your Heart,
Why?

63.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do I have to tell You
Again and again
That You heal my heart
With Your fleeting Smile?

64.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do You not realise
That in Your absence
I drown in my heart's
Loneliness-tears?

65.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do You not realise
That each act
Of Your loving Concern
Deepens my heart's love
For You?

66.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

My heart is simply devastated.
For me, my oneness with You
Means here and now,
At this very moment,
And not in the remote future.

67.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Unspeakable selfishness
Is killing my entire being,
Yet You are completely silent.

68.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

My Lord, is it not high time
For You to destroy
My unwillingness-tyrant-mind?

69.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I have only one prayer,
And that prayer
Is for You to make me worthy
Of Your scoldings.
But even that one prayer
You never sanction!

70.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You not give me any chance
To smile at You,
To make my heart
Infinitely sweeter
And my life
Infinitely richer?